By Paul Carter
A 'take no prisoners' lifestyle has visible Paul Carter heading to a few of the world's so much distant, wild and hazardous locations as a contractor within the oil enterprise. Amazingly, he is survived (so a long way) to inform those tales from the sting of civilisation, and cause. Taking postings in the various world's wildest and so much distant areas, let alone many of the roughest oil rigs in the world, Paul has labored, gotten into difficulty and been given severe talkings to in destinations as far-flung because the North Sea, heart East, Borneo and Tunisia, as unique as Sumatera, Vietnam and Thailand, and as flat out risky as Columbia, Nigeria and Russia, with the various maddest, baddest and strangest humans you'll ever desire to not meet.
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Additional resources for Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse
I dumped my bag in the laundry, stripped off and threw all my clothes in the washing machine, and proceeded naked straight to the bathroom. In a slow exhausted trance I closed the door, took a shower, shaved and then sat on the toilet and 33 **Don't Tell Mum-Rigs 27/7/05 4:27 PM Page 34 DON'T TELL MUM I WORK ON THE RIGS was thumbing through Sports Illustrated when Joe burst into the house through his dog door. He knew I was home and ran from room to room looking for me. I called out and in the inch gap between the tiled floor and the bottom of the door I could see his little feet standing on the other side.
This was finally done by getting him to stand on the front rim, facing the upright seat and leaning forwards so his hands rested on the cistern, thereby achieving the right angle, much like a human male does when trying to pee with an erection. Joe and I had one of our greatest battles in the toilet. I had returned home from a job offshore to an empty house; Drew was on annual leave, Erwin was offshore. Joe had been home alone, though we had installed a dog door for him to come and go, and three days a week a lady from the village came to clean the house and feed him.
Some years ago, an offshore worker finished a contract drilling job and stole his EPLT, taking it back to the United States as a keepsake. A few months later his son found it and activated it, and within the hour he had choppers and police cars swarming on his suburban home. The compressed air canister, or spare air, is vital too. It gives you time to make your escape from the crashed chopper. Many helicopters are capable of making an emergency landing on water, like the Sikorsky SN series which has an underside that looks just like a boat, and most can inflate big pontoons to float and stabilise the aircraft in the water.