By Leesa Harker
Leesa Harker's brilliant Liverpool-based parody of fifty colours tells of the adventures of White Lightning-swigging Maggie Muff, who meets Mr monstrous on the Dole Tall, darkish and shaggable he should be, yet his pursuits are faraway from traditional, and while he introduces Maggie to the pink Room of ache she realises that she could have bitten off greater than she will chew.If you are looking for books like 50 colours of gray, yet wish anything funnier, filthier and set within the middle of Liverpool, this is often the fitting ebook for you. the foundation for the sell-out play, starring Dannielle Malone.
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Additional resources for 51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style. A Liverpool parody of Fifty Shades of Grey
Well, I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. This was the life I’d always dreamed of. A knight in a shining Topman suit. I was imagining all sorts – me lyin on Mr Big’s piano, with a diamond necklace on, gettin my back door smashed in. Then he sent me a text: ‘Well, Margaret do you like your phone? ’ So I took a look. Fuck a duck! It was men an women gettin tied up, hangin from the ceilin with all their bits on show, gettin whipped, slapped, bit, nipped, spat on, the lot. ’ Like there are some lengths I’ll not go to to get the man of my dreams.
So, after ages sittin outside the Flats, he finally let me go. He thought he was on to a winner with the meter tickin while I told him my troubles, but the twenty I gave him was a fake, so I got six pound change back into the bargain. Result! Then I got into my flat an I was so depressed about Mr Big not wantin to spend the night with me, I rang Big Sally-Ann to tell her. I told her about Mr Big’s mum an dad’s house an the jacuzzi an she said it all sounded too good to be true. Then I told her about Mr Big not wantin me to touch him an that he wouldn’t stay with me an that I was lonely, an she said that’s not on.
Meetin the Parents The next day, we caught the train together. I decided to dress down that day, with meetin the mum an dad, but I wanted to still be Maggie Muff – just a swanky version. So I decided to go commando – no bra, no knickers – Mr Big would love it. I was beginnin to like playin games with him, especially ones where I had the upper hand. I wore my blue denim skirt that I got in Primark in 1996 an my white knee boots that Big Sally-Ann shoplifted from Topshop for my birthday. Then I put on my new white furry jumper that I got at the market.